Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Perfection according to Chris Rock

For all the penis wielders reading this, here is the litmus test to gauge if your prospective female companion is of the minute percentage of her gender that is most highly desired by the modern urban parlayer. Do not ask if she believes in a higher power, if she one day wants to get married and have children, or even if she likes to cook. The key to your happiness lies in two questions. The first being, "you like Wu-Tang?" If she responds affirmatively, share a brief bonding experience to validate this response by way of nostalgia regarding Wu-firsts. The first time you saw ODB's album cover with his welfare card on the front, the first time you heard the skit about sewing an unfortunate soul's asshole shut and continuing to feed said victim, and many more sweet and jovial memories.

Now (here's the doozy)- if she has responded yes to the aforementioned question, the moment of truth is upon us. If you're trying to be subtle, raise the general subject of entertainment and tv shows to see what she likes. If you've got no time to waste however, then go str8 for the gusto- "you watch Seinfeld???"

Wonder if Paris is reading this.. hmm.. maybe not.


Memphis said...

im a big chris rock lover

and altho id add a few questions which are also in a few of his jokes/stan up shows, thats pretty much on the money

seedoubleyoudee said...

99.9 Percent of women (in fact, I've yet to meet the .1 percent, so for now I'm going to say 100) will say no if they've said yes to the first question, or vice versa. I would like to think I'm a progressive, non generalizing non chauvinistic pro-vagina-lovenicetitties-male but hey, real is real people. Until I find the mythical creature as mentioned in Chris Rock standup, the one that appreciates the Wu-Tang Clan AND Seinfeld with equally distributed fervor, I'll maintain that the perfect woman does not exist.

Memphis said...

just tried it out on someone who i thought would've been in the 1% ;), alas she only said yes to the second...

...and i like wu alot more than seinfeld


Abullah the Butcher said...

funnily nuff. most gals i seen in my times.

yes to wu-tang!

abbie dont care much for seinfeld!

kwality said...

The real question is-

who cares what a chick likes?