Posted by Pete Le Creep at 8:27 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
O say 3 weeks ago i was down in Melbourne for a short sojourn, away from its Northern brother (evil or otherwise).
After filling 4 days, sardine style, full of the la familia and work it was time to sling the bag, don the hat and exit stage left. What follows is a breakdown of my last 3 hours in Melbourne.
"Farewell so long my family you will be missed"
I set off from Edithvale at approx 3:45. Those of you who know me know im not amongst the most organized of fellows however in this case my flight is not until 6:50. 150 minutes surely will be more than ample to have me on my merry way.
I kiss the family goodbye.
"Timing is everything"
Upon arriving at Edithvale station I hear the man in the box tell me i should expect the train in exactly one minute. Nothing short of bee's dick precision i tip-toe the yellow line, satisfied and look down the belly that is the Frankston line in eager anticipation for the steel with yellow and blue accents.
Well it seems the train is running late, nothing to fear of course, what’s one minute between old friends like myself and the Frankston line? sure, ill take a seat, stretch the legs, even observe the newly arrived local female inhabitants. It seems my oversized zebra-print backpack has aroused their attention.
"Where for art thou o man-in-box?"
I feel the vice of time slowly tightening when the speakers come alive and tell me the train is running 40 minutes late due to some Frankston fauna pulling the doors off one of the carriages. I decide it best to leave in search of a taxi as the 2 Edithvale harlots have began some form of predatory circle where one will ask me for a cigarette (no doubt some attention diversion method) while the other directs her energy to some un foreseen project behind me.
As I leave hilarity ensues, although the laughs sound somewhat depressed, like some has-been, it could have been so much more.
"Frankston you cruel mistress"
As I wait for a taxi I notice that the snake that is the Neapean Highway has become bloated from a recent feed of pre peak hour traffic. This does not bode well for our young traveler.
"A hypnotist you say"
The taxi driver is confident that he can get me into the city by 5:15. Not my original plan, the time for pirates and Willy Wonka would have to be cut short, but the cards had been dealt and they had to be played.
He had one of those afternoon channel 9 game-show credits voices, enthusiastic yet controlled. After some foreplay back n forth conversations I learn that my new wheel-steering friend is actually a clinical hypnotheripist and his taxi driving career is nothing more than social experimentation gone farce.
Interesting fellow and ill take this chance to plug him
Yuri Runcis M.A.H.T.C
0417 032 834
(By the way, Hypno-the-rapist)
Anyway our travels are sluggish which gives me plenty of time to act as intellectual vampire and take my fill of answers to questions such as “So what came first the hypnotherapist or the comedian?”
“From sluggish to the slug has died”
Traffic is tied-up for 8 city blocks.
A police man informs us someone had jumped in front of traffic.
Much (much) later that day back in Sydney I tell a Bangladeshi Muslim cab driver of the suicide in which he responds “ I bet he was Christian, Christians die for no reason”
“4 o’clock appointments”
Coffee with a girl in a red dress.
Everything was good including the coffee.
“For you no problems for me no problems”
By this time I’m doubtful that I can reach Avalon in 30mins. Regardless I hail Mary and ask the Lebanese father of 5 what the chances are.
“I’m sorry sir, there’s just no way I can do that”
Well maybe it was 6:45 but the fucker was still on the ground. After the 3rd refused entry and the 100th curse on Jetstar, its staff, family and unborn child I walk, defeated, to the public phone and call the boss.
By the time I find a cab to take me to Tullamarine the plane was just taking off.
“Light at the end of the muddle”
Well after the Frankston line, Yuri the Hynotherapist, a suicide, a cunt of a Jetstar employee and over 300 dollars on cab fairs Ive made it. Virgin-blue books me in for a 9 o’clock flight and a pretty attendant walks me all the way to the plane.
I wrote this as an apology to those people I was supposed to see on my last day in Melbourne.
Posted by left handed at 1:03 PM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
1) You go to a club, search aimlessly for a car spot, and end up paying $7. You get to the line with your group of four, only to hear the words... "Sorry guys, I can only let in three of you".
2) After getting knocked back, people are on their mobile phones, screaming loud enough for the whole line to hear the standard line, "C'mon man, cant you get me in, where's Johhny?"
3) Everyone's a promoter or knows a promoter who can get you in under his/her guestlist, yet you still end up paying the same IF you actually get in!
4) You get into the club only to listen to everyone moan about how "over it" they are and how the crowd sux. Yet they are the same people you run into every week - if you get in.
5) Everyone seems to be going overseas "indefinitely", yet return after 2 months.
6) Everyone's an importer, or trying to become one, or at least knows five people who are importers.
7) Everyone's friend is Melbourne's biggest "COKE" dealer - but of course you can't tell that to anyone and sniffing OMO is better quality.
8) You recklessly spend $300 on a big weekend, mostly on drinks and other"gear", yet b!tch about the cost of parking in St Kilda. "$2 Dollars for an hour...what a waste of money!!!"
9) Everyone is buying a house or saving money to buy one. That, or becoming a Real Estate agent.
10) When you see a friend and say "Hey, we'll catch up soon," but really thinking "Why did I ever hang around with that loser? Now that I am a DJ/Model/promoter/real Estate agent and drug lord, I can have the coolest friends in Melbourne."
11) Every neglected nerd back in high school is now a DJ with a kick ass DJ name compiled of their first name and the letter off their last name.
12) Everyone's a fashion designer with their own angle on fashion, raiding the Brotherhood bin of tshirts cutting the sleeves off and proclaiming it as an original one off designer item.
13) When you head down to Chapel every Friday and Saturday night and you see that guy in the White Valiant Coupe whose arms are so big that he hangs one out of each side's window.
14) Every CD cover in your glove box is cracked in the middle for some "unknown reason", and also the middle of your Melways cover both front and back seems only to get scratched in the middle.
15) You bump into your acquaintance friends week after week at the same quality venues and you all say to each other "I have been having time off, haven't been out for a while."
16) You see "C grade celebrities", ex Big Brother contestants & Reality TV rejects around the clubs:- eg Molly Meldrum, Nick Russian from Temptation Island, Gemma from Big Brother, at every club you go to."
17) You see 6"8 footy players talking to models or ex strippers........... how cliche...... especially @ Motel on a Saturday night.
18) When people say "Where u been snob"??? or "Dont you say hello snob" .............."snob" ........ how very Melbourne.
19) When you ask people how they have been and they answer "busy"........ BUSY IS THE NEW BLACK PEOPLE ..........deal with it.
20) People get knocked back at a door but hover around , yelling loudly for everyone to hear "Come downstairs now and get me in, the door guy is being a d!ckhead."
21) Bouncers and doorb!tches use the phrase "Oh sorry there has been problems with *insert wog promoters name* tonight............. or*insert wog promoters name* hasn't put his guest list in."
*You know you live in Melbourne when everyone can get you quality c0caine priced b/w 200-250 a gram, its pure, great gear, but the catch is always they have to make a "few phone calls" cause its coming down to Melbourne via a few lebos from Sydney.
*You know you are living in Melbourne when you eventually get that gear from Sydney from Mohammed and Co. for the bargain basement price of $300 a gram it ends up being baby powder, glucose, speed, and novacaine. The novacaine makes your face and nose go numb so you profess to all your mates "This is the best sh!t ever."
*You know you are living in Melbourne when you go past Commercial Rd and Chapel Street at midday on a Sunday and see all the scattered punters from Evolution, Market, 161 and Revolver window shopping down the street absolutely offtap. Shopping for clothes, cds, and god knows what else, looking and smelling like last weeks leftovers.
*You know you are living in Melbourne when you overhear guys from your gym talking about the fact they are training for Summadayze......................
Posted by RDJ at 4:44 PM
Friday, September 22, 2006
the blogs own robert downy jnr. is holding shit down
at the psm gallery on johnston st
theres some extreme extravaganza at hifi tonite
FREE BOOZE as if i would be going otherwise
chronic this one is for u: street art blows
where is joe at? im sure u can bring your pet bird holmes
does anyone know about anything getting sued?
so many questions
see u tonite fuckers!
Posted by Pete Le Creep at 11:07 AM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
if you are a uni student aged 18 and above, join us at Billboard Nightclub with MTV VJ Jason Dundas and the Midnight Juggernauts. Get a sneak preview of MTVs new show 'Meet or Delete', and possibly win some great HP prizes.
Venue : Billboard Nightclub, 170
Russell St, Melbourne
Date : 20 September 2006
Time : 8pm
free boozE and vj jason- what a nite!
Posted by Pete Le Creep at 5:10 PM
Monday, September 18, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Posted by joe.louis at 4:27 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Not to turn this into the Banksy blog, but it's good to see the man isn't happy to rest on his trouble making laurels.
Artist Banksy targets Disneyland
A life-size replica of a Guantanamo Bay detainee has been placed in Disneyland by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.
The hooded figure was placed inside the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride at the California theme park last weekend.
It is understood to have remained in place for 90 minutes before the ride was closed down and the figure removed.
A spokeswoman for Banksy said the stunt was intended to highlight the plight of terror suspects at the controversial detention centre in Cuba.
Banksy is notorious for his secretive and subversive stunts - such as sneaking doctored versions of classic paintings into major art galleries.
In 2005, he embarrassed the British Museum by planting a hoax cave painting of a man pushing a supermarket trolley, which he said went unnoticed for three days.
Last week, he smuggled 500 "alternative" versions of Paris Hilton's album into record shops around the UK.
Topless fake cover
The artist replaced Hilton's songs with his own remixes, which were given titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For?
He also changed the artwork to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head.
The Bristolian is most famous for his graffiti artworks, which are often created in prominent public places.
Last year, he produced nine stencil sprays on the Palestinian side of the West Bank barrier.
The satirical images showed images of life on the other side of the barrier.
One depicted a hole in the wall with an idyllic beach, while another showed a mountain landscape.
Earlier this summer, a piece of Banksy's graffiti art on a Bristol building was allowed to remain in place by the city council after the public voiced overwhelming support.
The stencilled image, which showed a naked man hanging onto a window ledge, won a 97% approval rating from residents on an internet discussion forum.
Banksy is due to hold what is billed as a "three day vandalised warehouse extravaganza" in Los Angeles this weekend.
Story from BBC NEWS:
Posted by kwality at 10:24 AM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Well another week and our lil pet project is 3/4 of the way there. As you can see, fresh ply, mmmm smells toasty! Big Props to the one the only Big Sime for Hu$tlin the Ply, screws, jigsaw, drills and $10 Broom anyone!!! Haha
What is with getting old and feeling sore as fuck? Dayum, i know i wasnt hurting as bad as Hans and Big Sime, but Pete?? Man.. using those muscles you hadn't in a while?
Here's a new mix to celebrate the occasion.
CWD Dattebayo Mix #6 - 6/9/06 - 35 Megs 34:57mins
1. Fat Joe - Make It Rain
2. Mr Magic - Lets Roll
3. Project Pat - Raised In The Projects
4. Abray Dewan - My Chain
5. Lady Sovereign - The Brooom
6. DJ Gero - Kryptonite Remix
7. Daz - Weekend
8. Roots Manuva - Seat Yourself (Diplo Remix)
9. Trick Daddy - Bet That
10. FDNY - So Crazy
11. Butch - Itz My Time
12. DJ Shadow - 4 Freaks
13. Mistah Fab - Brush Em Off
14. Sebastian - Dolami
15. Serious Smoke - Vebyn
16. Killer Mike - Akshon
17. Justin Timberlake - My Love
18. Mason Camo - Fleetwood
19. Mason Camo - Broken Wings
20. Mason Camo - Hollies
21. Taj - Canga De Tahj
22. Mason Camo - Beatdown Bridge Bbane Version
23. Agent X - Get The Flow
24. Trackademiks - Bay Cats Do That Hyphy
25. Lady Sovereign - Whispers
P.S. Ying Yang Twins... don't even ask, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SOUNDMAN AT WITH MY MIC?? Dude probably wasn't even there...
P.P.S. No doubt I'll be seeing everyone @ FAVELA ROCK for the amazing show that is the HALF-ASIAN VS ASIAN aka AMAZING!!!
Posted by seedoubleyoudee at 9:45 PM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Elephants Dream is the world’s first open movie, made entirely with open source graphics software such as Blender, and with all production files freely available to use however you please, under a Creative Commons license.
The short film was created by the Orange Open Movie Project studio in Amsterdam during 2005/2006, bringing together a diverse team of artists and developers from all over the world. More about the project...
peep http://orange.blender.org/ for details!
Posted by RDJ at 10:47 PM
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
i know, i know, its brunswick st but, for mf doom videos ill do anything yo
apparently they are setting up couches on the dance floor and showing the videos on the screen on above the stage.
if anyone has any more info, post away
5 bones entry
freeze booze update
thursday: alpha 60 launch at alice euphemia, there is always HEAPS of booze at alice, it has never run out while ive been there
some fashion week party at GPO (im sure it will be like going to boutique) but free booze! its the only fashion thing im going to all week
Posted by Pete Le Creep at 10:34 AM
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Hundreds of Paris Hilton albums have been tampered with in the latest stunt by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.
Banksy has replaced Hilton's CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For?
He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head.
A spokeswoman for Banksy said he had doctored 500 copies of her debut album Paris in 48 record shops across the UK.
She told the BBC News website: "He switched the CDs in store, so he took the old ones out and put his version in."
It might be that there will be some people who agree with his views on the Paris Hilton album
But he left the original barcode so people could buy the CD without realising it had been interfered with.
Banksy is notorious for his secretive and subversive stunts such as sneaking doctored versions of classic paintings into major art galleries.
His spokeswoman said he had tampered with the CDs in branches of HMV and Virgin as well as independent record stores.
He visited cities including Bristol, Brighton, Birmingham, Newcastle, Glasgow and London, she added.
A spokesman for HMV said the chain had recovered seven CDs from two Brighton shops but was unaware that other locations were affected.
No customers had complained or returned a doctored version, he said.
"It's not the type of behaviour you'd want to see happening very often," he said.
"I guess you can give an individual such as Banksy a little bit of leeway for his own particular brand of artistic engagement.
"Often people might have a view on something but feel they can't always express it, but it's down to the likes of Banksy to say often what people think about things.
"And it might be that there will be some people who agree with his views on the Paris Hilton album."
A spokesman for Virgin Megastores said staff were searching for affected CDs but it was proving hard to find them all.
"I have to take my hat off - it's a very good stunt," he added
DOWNLOAD BANKSY MIX HERE
Posted by kwality at 9:56 AM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Your boy Thommmmmmmmy aka Enari, aka Audi TT (Testicular Torsion)
will be on the 1s & 2s aka Wheels of Steel at the next Favela Rock. So come down and holla at the dumb Sydney Fukka who cops all the good shit before it even gets to the Burn. Kidding. Better come down to catch the shortest model ever. Peace.
Posted by Testicular Torsion at 10:33 PM
Probably only a couple of you guys on the blog know this but I had dreams of becoming a pro tennis player as a kid. This did not happen due to a multitude of factors which I choose not to divulge on this platform.
As with most up and coming players on the ATP circuit such as Rafael Nadal, one of my idols growing up was Andre Agassi. As the velvet curtains draw upon his glittering professional tennis life, I thought it would be fitting to provide him with some sort of tribute. I deem it as a form of recompense in exchange for living vicariously via his glories throughout his illustrious two-decade long career - beginning from the early 'image is everything' days to his gradual metamorphosis into a gracious and articulate statesman of the game - before he descends from his self-appointed centre stage that is the Arthur Ashe stadium @ Queens NYC.
My respect for him has grown profoundly post my epiphany concerning the seemingly insurmountable challenges that aging athletes are inescapably exposed to. The ravages wreaked upon them include waning physical capabilities and increased susceptibility to chronic wear-and-tear related injuries. Yet, Agassi was able to stay on top and fend off countless waves of hungry young guns over a sustained period of time. This had necessitated a switch in strategy and shot repetoire coupled with a white-hot intensity in focus and commitment. To describe this unyielding effort as extremely arduous is nothing short of a severe understatement.
On Saturday, with the raucous support of 23,000 strong NY'ers, he turned back the hands of time and improbably defeated the irrepressible Marco Baghdatis over five gruelling sets. This was one of those transcedental sporting moments that struck resonance and inspired not only fans of the sport but also casual observers from all walks of life. Seasoned analysts have nearly unanimously coined it the most emotionally charged US Open match in history, placing it over and above 39 y.o. Jimmy Connors' rollercoaster run to the 91 semi-final and the Sampras Agassi epic duels in the late 90's.
When Agassi embarks on the next phase of his life, he will use his position of considerable influence to make a positive difference in this problem ridden world through fully engaging in philanthropy. His retirement will leave a dent in the game from the perspective of its standing on the world sporting stage. It will also mark the end of an era in American tennis which appears destined to join the company of other diminished former powerhouse nations, Britain and Australia, and fade into relative obscurity. On a more optimistic note, the future of men's tennis is in the safe hands of Federer, Nadal, Baghdatis and co.
Posted by Wozka wozka at 9:22 PM